Staying Accountable

Hello gentle readers!

I went after the piles in my kitchen. I actually finished on Saturday morning. I have a box packed and ready to go out tomorrow for donation pick up. I sorted a big box of papers and put away a BUNCH of art supplies. I sorted decorative papers into collage packs to share as "goodie bags" at an upcoming retreat. Still to be sorted: A large container of project samples, instructions and supplies.

I once again found the top of my kitchen table:

I want to find a place to keep the extra leaf for my table. I don't want to put it back in my table, because that just creates a larger flat space that tempts me to set stuff down. As organizer Peter Walsh says, "Flat spaces are not for storage."

Speaking of Peter Walsh, he's teamed up with Office Max to present a new line or organization products. I signed-up for an online seminar (free) and received these samples for free:

The best tip for me from this seminar: Instead of post-it notes everywhere, I now keep a journal at my desk for notes, reminders, etc. This is working out well for me.

I keep reminding myself that I don't have to be perfectly organized. Every day that I make any effort is a step in the right direction. Yay me!

And something really strange happened yesterday. I was walking through my pantry area and thought, "I'd like to organize these shelves." Wow! Was that really my brain talking?!? Yay! I sense an internal shift and it is exciting.

Blessings,

Kelly

Building Faith in Myself

Hello gentle readers!



Day by day I am building faith in myself. I am beginning to trust myself to follow-through. In a personal growth class we were talking this week about the difference between "false hopes" and "healthy hopes." Our instructor said that healthy hopes are based on history.



If I "hope" to keep my studio and office clean and organizers AND I take action day-by-day towards that goal, then I have healthy hope.


If I "hope" to keep my spaces clean and organized but take no action, then I have false hope. It is false hope that makes the heart sick.

This is one reason that I outed myself about the piles in my kitchen space. I undermine my faith in myself every day that I walk by that stuff without taking care of it. I want to build faith in myself. I want to build a history of taking action. I want to have healthy hope.

What are you hoping for? Is it a healthy hope? What action can you take today to begin to build a history upon which to base your hope?

Yesterday I went into my art studio and created a project for an upcoming retreat. I must be breaking through my creative block...

Here is the mess I created:

Here is the project I created:

Here is the clean space I created:

And my studio is all ready to use for my next project!

Here's to a spirit of healthy hope!! Yay me!

Hugs,

Kelly

Time to Come Clean

Hello gentle readers!



It is time for me to check in.


We went to the ocean this weekend. When we got home I went into my office and dropped a bunch of stuff on my desk. This is what it looked like when I went in Monday morning:

Well, yuck. My flowers are dead, the work surface is covered and I had no room to write my morning pages. I like coming in to a clean desk in the morning. It is wonderful, I feel like I'm getting a fresh start every day. When I come in to a cluttered work space I feel overwhelmed before I even get started.

Yesterday I worked at the computer wayyyy too long. I was past ready to stop. I just wanted to get out of my office. However, no matter how tired I was, I knew that I wanted to come in and find a clean desk in the morning. So, I cleaned up my desk top...you might say I "tucked it in" for the night. Here's the pic:

Now, I need accountability for something else. No, let me put it this way: I WANT (gulp) accountability. (Its funny how using the word "want" instead of the word "need" makes such a difference to my perspective. Try it sometime.)

I have a big pile of stuff in my kitchen that I want to get sorted, given away and cleaned out. It has been sitting there since O 9-1-1. I walk past it over and over again.

I think, "If you cleaned out two rooms in your house in three days, surely you can get this stuff sorted and dealt with. What's going on with you?!?" If nothing else, I want to get rid of it so that I stop passing judgment on my self every time I walk past it.

And so, dear readers, I put myself before you once again. I want to take care of this by the end of this week. I will post pictures of the space when I have it clean.

I'm thinking there may be a few guidelines here for me to consider:

* Flat areas are not for storage.

* If I don't know where to keep it, I probably don't need it.

* If I'm going to give something away, get it out of the house right away.

Thank you for sharing my journey.

Blessings,

Kelly

Creating in my Studio - Messing it up!

Hello Gentle Readers,

I went into my studio a week ago and (gasp) I got it messy!

I decided to make a present for a baby shower. I began to gather what I needed. I began to spread out across the work tables.

As I connected more and more with the creative process, I took out more and more components (supplies) to work with. Guess what? I had everything I needed in my studio AND I knew where to find it! Wow. What a concept! What a reality! Here's what my work surface typically looks like when I'm in the midst of a creative burst:

And here, as a point of accountability, is a photo that shows I cleaned up after myself. Not only did I know where to find everything to begin with, I knew where to put it when I cleaned up. This is big! It helps so much when things have a specific home.

Here are closer looks at the gift I made. It is a box that flips open when the lid is removed. There are places to attach photos inside.

And here is an example of a fip-out photo box with pictures attached:

Woo-hoo! I made a mess in my studio, I created a wonderful gift that I hope will be a keepsake for years to come....and I cleaned up after myself!!!!! Yay me! I can do it.

Being Real

Hello gentle readers,

Have you ever anticipated a Big Event? Have you ever looked forward to something wonderful? Let’s just take Christmas as an example. You plan. You make preparations. You imagine the activities of the season. You talk to people about upcoming gatherings. You think about the Big Event; it consumes your thoughts more and more everyday as the day grows closer. You try to foresee and plan for every contingency. You think about what you'd like to receive. You think about what you'll give to others. You imagine people's reactions. Ahhhh, sweet anticipation.

And the day arrives, the one you've been looking forward to for so long: The Big Experience. The event that you've been planning for has arrived. All your preparation comes together into reality. Your anticipation culminates in actualization. This is it! This is really happening! The moment is now here...

And then it is done. The event is past. Where there was planning and preparation, there is now a void. Where once was anticipation, now there is a kind of mental and emotional floundering. There is a kind of casting about, fishing for what's next. “Now what?” our brain and heart asks.

Imagine the end of a vacation or retreat. Have you ever thought, with a sigh, “Well, it’s back to reality now”?

It’s not so much about being “let down” by the experience, its more accurate to say there is a certain amount of “let down” following a significant experience.

I've been experiencing this kind of "let down;" the kind that often follows a long-anticipated event or experience. I've been trying to deny it. I mean, this event was amazing. This experience changed my life. I received an amazing gift. I gave away amazing gifts. All the anticipation and preparation culminated in undeniable results....and yet. And yet, I will not deny where I'm at.

I've been avoiding this blog. I've been avoiding talking about where I'm at right now. "After all," my inner critic says, "What have you got to be feeling down about?!? You won a big prize! You received an incredible gift. Get over it! Get on with it!" I stuffed a sock in my inner critic's mouth and sat down to write this blog entry.

What has held me back is that I'm afraid that my post-event let down will taint the experience itself. I felt resistant to share. I told myself the story that it will reflect badly on the event as a whole. I told myself the story that it will detract from the joy of the results. I feel ashamed to be feeling this way, like I am a greedy child who is not happy with what she’s received. So, now I’m not only feeling the post-experience “let down” I’m also beating myself up for feeling this way at all.

Well, I guess its time for me to coach myself.

I’ve avoided even mentioning how I’m feeling. Now, I’m bringing these feelings into the light. I’m going to admit feeling this way. I believe that this act in itself will begin to take away the power of those feelings of “let down.”

The reality is: It is normal to experience some degree of let down following the culmination of a Big Experience. I think we all feel it to varying degrees. I’m considering what keys there may be to counteract post-event let down.

One key question I’m asking myself is, “What did I do differently in preparation for the Big Experience that I'm not doing now?” Well, for one thing, I was listening to affirmation CDs at least once and often twice a day. I was walking at least once every other day. I was imagining the end result. I was talking to people about it. I was feeding into the energy of anticipation and preparation. Once the event was past I quit doing these things. Now that I have this awareness, I have the opportunity to re-introduce some or all of these components into my life and see what difference they may make when applied to my daily living.

Another key is my source of daily motivation. Before, I was motivated by the anticipation of the Big Event. Now, I can look inside and learn to become motivated for myself, for my personal growth. Can I begin to see my life as the Big Event, The Big Experience above all others?

Another key that I suspect is very powerful is this: Find something new to look forward to. I can fill the void by settling my anticipation on a new experience or event. I can find a new source of motivation. I can determine a new target to reach for. I can begin to plan and prepare myself for another Big Experience.

What keys have you found to counteract post-event let down? Will you please share them with us here?

Blessings, dear gentle readers. Blessings to you.

Before and After Pictures

Hello wonderful readers!

I discovered how to imbed pics in my posts. Yay!
I thought I'd share these before and after pictures.

The transformation is stunning!

This room had become a "catch all" room ~

Now I have a quiet reading area.

I can even meet with clients here!

This room was really not being utilized at all.

Isn't it amazing what we keep around?

We aren't using it, but we don't want to let it go.

In the end, we end up in the grip of the clutter.

Why not release?

Release and be free!

This room is now useful. Well, really, it was always useful ... potentially.

Now this space welcomes me to write and work.

Yay!

Let's go down to the other end of my house now, into my art studio.

I used to call it my "craft room."

I appreciate crafting because it birthed who I am as an artist.

This mess, however, stifled both the crafter and the artist.

Now I am calling this side of the room my "movement studio."

Every morning I dance with Ellen.

Last night I bounced on my exercise ball for 30 minutes. Yay me!

Too much stuff!

Blocking my way, blocking my creativity, blocking my life.

No more!

Now!


A space where my creative spirit can discover and explore.

More pictures tomorrow, dear readers.

I have something exciting to tell you!

I went into my art studio and ... well, I'll save it for my next post.

Blessings,
Kelly

Space, the Final Frontier

Hello dear readers.

During Organization 9-1-1 six professional organizers a day for three days for six hours a day worked in my home. Professional organizers earn about $65 an hour. This means that, just in labor alone, I was given a gift valued at over $7000. I do not take lightly the efforts and energy invested in me. I am humbled and grateful. I want to honor this gift. While I cannot pay it back, I will pay it forward.

A big part of showing my appreciation for the investment made in me is to USE the space. I will squander the investment if I let the space go unused. It really isn’t much different whether I am unable to use the space due to too much clutter or whether I do not use the space because I want to keep it clean. Either way the POTENTIAL of the space is going untapped.

I love my new office! I’ve added a few more books to the shelves. I’ve been writing here every morning. It is great to have this space just for me. So far I’m putting things away every night when I step away from my desk.

On the other hand, I’ve yet to really stake my claim on my new studio. For one thing, it has been very cold and the room is not heated. That is just a surface reason, though.

There is just so much open space. It is strange. I don’t have a desire or urge to fill it with stuff. I’m more afraid that I will mess it up and so I don’t want to touch it. I’m anxious just thinking about it.

I must admit, I’m afraid that I won’t keep the space cleaned up. You see, I’ve broken faith with myself before; and of course I’m talking about my inner rooms here. In many ways, I don’t trust myself. I have the best of intentions, really, and then, in the past, I’ve not followed through on those intentions. Oh, I didn’t do this with all of my intentions. I managed to follow through on some. But I let myself and others down often enough that my faith in myself was damaged.

Breaking faith with myself and others has cost me dearly. Not only did I develop a deep distrust of my own word; I have pulled back and isolated from people who I feel I’ve disappointed. Now that I type those words, I suppose that in many ways I pulled back and isolated within myself --- even from myself --- out of disappointment, guilt and shame.

Today is a new day. I can choose to go to the people I’ve let down and ask forgiveness. I can be released from that guilt and shame. I can move forward and come out of isolation.

Today is a new day. I have the opportunity today to make the choices, small and large, that will begin to rebuild my faith in myself. There is only one way and that is to practice. Every intention that I set and follow-through with action begins to rebuild that trust in myself.

In regards to my studio, I’m just going to get in there and create something. And you know what? I’m planning ahead to give myself grace when I fall short. Falling short from time to time is going to happen. I will not hold myself to a standard of perfection, it won’t happen anyway. Trying to be perfect will just stifle my creativity and my joy of the space. Trying to be perfect will instill a spirit of fear that may ultimately cause me to isolate into inertia. I fully embrace my inner wonkiness!

I’m going to approach my studio fearlessly, as though it were a blank canvas. I’m going to mess up the space and then I’m going to prove to myself that I can clean it up. I can do it!

Blessings,
Kelly

Giving Birth is Hard Work

Greetings dear readers!

Earlier in this blog I drew an analogy between the professional organizers and midwives. Their role was to encourage me and to help me focus my energy on the task at hand. Their role was to help me push through the labor to birth two new productive areas in my home.

Well, today I feel physically and mentally like I have been in labor for three days. I am exhausted and sore everywhere. My ears are full. I don't want anyone to ask me another question for the next month; but I'll settle for 24 hours.

I am peacefully excited about my two new "babies." I am admiring them with the exhausted joy and wonder of a mother who worked hard for three days to bring them into the world.

I have decided to take today off. I'm going to rest, rest, rest. I'm going to rest my body and I'm going to rest my mind. I'm glad that it is so snowy here today; it is nice to stay in my pj's and snuggle down with a heat pack and watch the snow while I rest.

This journey is not over yet. Now it is time for me to create the habits and awareness that will make it possible to care for these rooms. Will you help me stay accountable? If you want to help me, just keep reading this blog. I'll continue posting pictures to show that I'm taking care of these spaces. I want to honor the investment made by the team of organizers who gave time and considerable energy to help me.

I know that there are many inner lessons that will arise from the process itself. I was moving intently through the physical process and it took all my attention and focus. The inner lessons will come now, as I rest and have the time to mentally and emotionally consider the experience.

I haven't forgotten, dear readers, to post the application questions and my answers. And I couldn't toddle off to veggie-land before posting this note to you.

This "good news" event was pre-empted by the snow and so there is no formal TV news coverage of Organization 9-1-1. We'll just make do with the amateur video I can present to you.

Click this link to see the grand finale pictures and video:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/7742059@N02/

And so, dear readers, I'm off to make like a vegetable for the rest of today.

Blessings,
Kelly

What a Wonderful Whirlwind!

I am typing this from my computer in my NEW OFFICE! Yay! This is going to be an "off the cuff" posting, dear readers. Can you imagine how tired I am? I know that you will give me grace.

I made 1.6 billion decisions on day one. My wonderful team arrived right on time and set up staging/sorting areas in the kitchen (two tables) and in my living room (one table). We created a pile of garbage in the yard and sorted into two piles on my deck. Did I mention that we did a lot of sorting??? Whew.

The trade agent, Summer, showed up and she is so wonderful! I'll post a link with her info soon. She took all my stamps and e-bay items. Poof! Just like that! She'll do all the listing and shipping labor and she will send me a check. Yay! Sort and sell, sort and sell.


I started sorting goodies to go to a little girl who is starting scrapbooking. Well, there is TOO much to give to this little girl and I need to face that. I suppose I'll box up a bunch of the decorative paper scraps and give them to a school...or two, or three. Sort, sort, sort!

I have boxes and boxes of paper and office supplies to go with Sherry to school. Yay! More sorting accomplished!

I did best when I just kept my head down and focused on what they put in front of me. If I looked up the big picture overwhelmed me. My wonderful team, headed by Linda and Denise, had their sorting boxes all figured out for the big picture. I learned that I can trust them with the big picture. Sort, sort, sort.

I was so exhausted by the end of day one that all I could do is exercise a little, eat and fall into bed. My back hurt and my brain hurt. I went to bed early and woke up sore and bleary-brained.

After a hot shower, I put on the Thermacare heat pack my hubby brought me home, had a protein drink and some power chocolate...and some coffee...and went back at it! Soon I was engaged in the intensity of the project, fully awake and back to the sorting, sorting, sorting.

By the end of day two the sorting is getting easier because I'm so burned out from choosing what to do with stuff that I mostly just toss or donate stuff. Sort, sort, sort.

It is so amazing how the rooms are taking shape. When I lift up my head and look around I'm not overwhelmed.

Would you like to see some pictures showing the progress over the last two days? Follow this link:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/7742059@N02/sets/72157614947593028/

It's time for me to pour this tired, tired body into bed so that I'm ready to go tomorrow!

Blessings,
Kelly

O-Day One

Wow! It's NOW!

The organizers are on their way! As I type this it is 8:35 a.m. and my life is about to change drastically. My heart is pounding and my stomach is swirling.

I spent most of the day yesterday sorting, sorting, sorting. I taped up nearly all my board games; they will be going to Goodwill. I returned library items so they wouldn't get lost in the shuffle. I re-homed an item with a friend to get it out of my house. I filled the back of my car with what I am calling "know go" items.

"Know Go" items are things that I will release only to people I know. I don't like to give them out indiscriminately I want to give them away intentionally. I want to give them away purposefully. I get super jazzed and excited to releasing them to people I know will really appreciate them.

What internal gifts do you have that you only give out to targeted people? What gifts of your heart, mind and spirit do you guard as sacred? How do you choose to whom you release these gifts? Are you releasing and giving away what you have that will bless or cheer others? If not, why? Have you ever given these gifts to people who were not worthy? What happened? How did you feel?

Wow! Those questions just poured out. Those questions are as much for me to examine later (when the organizers aren't nearly at my door) as they are for you to consider now.

The day is clear, sunny and cold here in Maple Valley. There is thick frost and puddles are frozen. It is a great day to get organized! It's a great day to let go of the junk of the past and make way for possibilities and new dreams!

If I get a chance, I'll put some video up on You Tube later. Watch the blog, I'll update as possible.

Blessings,
Kelly

Sorting Things Out

Sorting Things Out

I’ve been silent for several days, dear readers.

I am sorting things out. This is to say that I am FEELING things out; literally feeling things out of my life.

I have been sorting through one particular box; a box I avoided for a long time. The contents of this box include a jumbled assortment of regrets, betrayal, manipulation, resentment, bitterness, wounds, anger, abandonment, brokenness, pain, pain, pain, pain. I don’t want to look in this box! I don’t! I don’t! I don’t! And yet the contents seem to poison the very air around them. There is a smell coming from the box. Up until now I’d rather live with the smell than look at the dead thing it is coming from.

I know that I want to be free. I know that in order to be free I must take out the contents and deal with them.

If I don’t look at the contents I may keep them around because I think there just might be something in there I need. Why not just seal up the box and throw it away? If I just seal the box and throw it away, there may be a part of me that remains connected, still wondering if there was something I should keep.

Only by examining the contents can I know for sure and certain what, if anything, is worth keeping. Oh, dear God help me, I want to be free; help me to look, help me to see, help me to FEEL…

Oh, I don’t want to look! The contents are ugly and putrid. I see faces swirling in there, mine included. Evidence, this box contains evidence. By holding on to this box I use it as evidence to pass judgment against myself as well as others. Victim Story, this box reeks of vile scent of victim story. It is a pack of lies with no happy ending that leaves the storyteller powerless and stuck and questioning her own sanity. Self-hatred, oh, that is the poison; it is making me so sick. I recognize everything that I despise in others in my own heart.

There is nothing in here I want to keep! Nothing! I can't see anything of value in here! I don’t need this! I don’t want this! I hate the stench and the ugliness! I hate carrying the weight of it all. I don’t ever want to look in here again. I don't want to feel these emotions! But I will not stuff it all back in! No! I will shred it to pieces, I will shred the evidence! I will erase the victim story and change the story. I will burn all the little pieces! I will forgive and accept –maybe even learn to love- myself, my imperfect self, right here and now…and in the next moment, and the one after that and the next and so on and so on forever. I will feel the emotions and cry tears that wash the eyes of my heart so that I am able to see the hidden treasure in an otherwise painful experience.

I choose freedom. I choose freedom. The more I release the more freedom I have. Of course this box is inside me; it is a box related to a particular experience.

I am the container for all my experiences and all the emotions that go along with those experiences.

Feeling the emotions that are stuffed inside is not typically pleasant. They aren't pretty pretty and certainly are "not welcome in polite society." Some seem like starving beasts that want out to feed. In the past I've tried to keep them carefully chained and caged.Sometimes I’m afraid that by feeling the emotions I am feeding them. This is a lie! Sometimes it may seem that way, but in fact the opposite is through. My emotions have plenty to feed on when I cage them; they eat me up inside.

I am sorting (a.k.a. feeling) through experiences and emotions associated with mistakes, betrayal and/or violation. Feeling the emotions does not mean that I haven’t forgiven. It is part of the forgiveness process. Feeling the emotions takes willingness. It is part of the human life experience and therefore it is never over. The whole point of this is to feel emotions PERIOD.

I accept that I cannot “power out” nor "will" myself free of my emotions. I accept that I cannot pray away my emotions. I can pray through them, but I can’t pray them away.

Somewhere inside I received the message that it is bad, that I am bad, if I feel and express my “negative” emotions. I am not bad when I feel anger and resentment and bitterness and regret. I am not bad for feeling these things. These are simply real emotions that exist in relation to certain experiences. They are not “good” or “bad,” they are part of my experience. They are emotions; God gave me emotions so that I will FEEL them, not STUFF them. Heck, God feels emotion. Why would I be any different?

I’m sorting through things. I am not bad and I am not a failure. I am brave and willing to pull these things out and examine them in the light of day. Examination is risky; often confusing and painful; it involves allowing the feelings to come up and out. Every emotion I feel is shredding a little more judgmental “evidence.” Feeling my emotions burns away the pieces of offense and cleanses my wounds so that they can no longer fester inside. Feeling my emotions moves me more and more into moment-by-moment acceptance and love of my perfectly imperfect self…and of other’s perfectly imperfect selves.

I am surrounded by safe people now. I am surrounded by people who encourage me to feel my emotions and who I know will accept me no matter what emotion I am expressing. I am in a secure place and I’m willing to feel all these emotions and feel them fully throughout my life. I have opened the box and begun sorting through things. I’m not going to close the box. I’m not going to leave anything unsorted and I’m not stuffing anything back in. Though it is hard and scary, it is safe for me to look in this box. It is time for me to feel.

I’m sorting things out.

"Before" video

A friend's husband saw the photos (tiny) of my messy rooms and said, "That doesn't look so bad."

To dispel any question as to whether or not I need professional help (ha) here is a video of my cluttered spaces "before"....

Before organization

Peek-A-Boo!

Now you see me, now you...see me

Isn’t it interesting that there can be so many facets to one experience?

Just a few days ago I wrote about the fear I have about needing all this stuff in order to be seen.

Lately I’ve become aware that I am hidden by all this stuff. Remember, I’m not only talking household clutter here, I’m talking about my inner clutter as well.

I heard an organizer on Oprah say, “The more you get rid of here, the more room you have over here.” This both thrilled and excited me!

I am excited because I am making room for something new. I may not even be fully aware of all that I am making room for; but I have a great sense of expectancy. I am cleaning out a junk room to create a nursery. The nursery is where I will nurture my spirit and soul through art; and where I will nurture my passion-driven business.

I have a new awareness that the more I get rid of, the more I am revealed. Wow. 180 degrees from where I was at a few days ago! The more I get rid of the more likely I am to be seen. Once the stuff is gone I am free to show up more fully; I show up more authentic, less guarded, and certainly less scattered.

Again, this is both thrilling and exciting. I want to show up authentically. I love to show up authentically! And I also feel anxious from time to time at the risk of being rejected. Those anxieties are just more boxes of junk to sort through and deal with once and for all. I have no illusions that the process will ever be complete. I’m okay with that; as long as I’m learning I’m not rotting.

The Oprah organizer also said, “Remove the clutter and honor and respect the things you truly love.” Oh how this is true of my heart and soul and mind! Living out this analogy makes application nearly impossible. That’s okay with me. I want to apply this to my life like slathering a nice thick layer of sticky peanut butter on a piece of bread. Have you ever tried to scrape peanut butter off bread? It is not easy. That’s how I want these revelations to stick to my life.

And, finally, another question that I am answering: “What do you want from this space?” What a wonder to consider this question with awareness and intention! When I was in labor with my kids I was encouraged to have a focus point to use during contractions. My dream of what I want for my office and art studio will be the focal point for me to get through the contractions of the organization process itself.

What about my soul, my spirit, my mind? What about my inner space? What do I want from this space? I want to show up fully and authentically. I want to make room for what is most precious and discard what does not contribute life to my life. I want to dream new dreams and give birth to inspiring books and art. I want to be an inspiration and encouragement to others. I want to nourish relationships that are mutually life-giving. I want to connect people to people and people to their dreams. These, then, are my focal point for these contractions of my inner organization process. This is where I focus the eyes of my heart.

How about you? What is the focus of the eyes of your heart?

Blessings,
Kelly

Time Keeps on Slipping Into the Future

Hello gentle readers,

Have you checked out the counter over there on the left?

It just hit me that it is just a little over a week before O-Days!!!!

Right now my heart is beating so fast and my brain is racing. I'm excited and nervous. I admit that I'm more than a little scared about the process.

My determination to be free is not wavering one bit.

I am keeping my eyes on the prize! I am hanging on and staying with the flow of the WHOLE process.

Today I sent a box full of educational games out the door. Yay me! My friend Kathy is taking them to the Special Ed teacher at her school. The teacher sounds so excited to receive them. This kind of purposeful giving brings joy to my process of releasing.

Holey-moley this is getting real, real, real! Will you please send lots of prayers and warm thoughts my way? I'm going to need them over the coming two weeks.

Thank you. It is nice to know that I'm not alone on this journey.

Big hugs,
Kelly

Pay Attention

"Tell me to what you pay attention and I will tell you who you are."
Jose Ortega y Gasset

How often have you heard these words used together? “Pay attention.” “I was really paying attention.” “You better pay attention!” This led me to ask myself, “How am I spending my attention?”

Wow, attention as a commodity? I’ve often heard the exhortation that my time is valuable. This is the first time I’ve clearly considered my attention as a kind of currency. When I “pay attention” I’m exchanging my attention-currency for … what? What goods or services am I purchasing with my attention? How am I spending my attention?

"Only when your consciousness is totally focused on the moment you are in can you receive whatever gift, lesson or delight that moment has to offer." Barbara De Angelis

An aspect of this de-cluttering process just keeps knocking on the door of my heart and mind: the analogy between my home and my soul. Clutter is not only physical, like all the stuff I accumulate and save and hoard. Clutter is mental and emotional as well.

“Only one thing has to change for us to know happiness in our lives: where we focus our attention.” Greg Anderson

In my art studio (a.k.a. “The Crap Room”) it is not uncommon for me to have to step over and around piles and piles of stuff. I have actually tripped a few times and I thought, “Great. The paper will read ‘death by crap’.” I would go into the room just to find something specific and get out. Or, I would go into the room to dump something else. I would purposely “try not to look.” What a joke! How could I not look at it? It is everywhere! Nevertheless, I tried not to see it. I didn’t want to pay attention to it.

What piles and piles of stuff and junk and crap in my head and my heart am I picking my way through? What am I trying not to see? If I see this stuff then I am faced with the choice to do something about it or not. Am I avoiding paying attention because then I will have to take responsibility? Ouch.

"I don't care how much power, brilliance or energy you have, if you don't harness it and focus it on a specific target, and hold it there you're never going to accomplish as much as your ability warrants." Zig Ziglar

When I am in the organization process I will go through all my stuff and choose what to keep and what to let go. Part of the inner-organization process is the willingness to look at my inner stuff and decide what value, if any, it has for me; whether it is useful or not. Is it for me now or is it something from the past that I don’t need to hold onto?

“Big Brother isn’t watching. He’s singing and dancing. He’s pulling rabbits out of a hat. Big Brother’s busy holding your attention every moment you’re awake. He’s making sure you’re always distracted. He’s making sure you’re fully absorbed.” Chuck Palahniuk

How am I cluttering my mind? Where are my thoughts? What am I thinking about? What thoughts am I paying attention to? What thoughts am I spending my attention on? I am bombarded from all sides with messages and suggestions and information. Technology alone can feed so much into my mind that there is little room for anything else in there. And, let’s face it; my own head supplies a constant chatter of its own. Will I pay attention to the thought, “I’ll never change”? Or will I spend my attention on the thought, “I will be free”?

"Attitude is the way you mentally look at the world around you. It is how you view your environment and your future. It is the focus you develop toward life itself."

How am I cluttering my emotions? Am I spending attention on bitterness, resentment, anger, insecurity? If I pay attention to bitterness, what am I buying? What am I getting for my money? What would happen if I spend more attention on forgiveness than I do on holding a grudge? What would I receive in return for such a payment?

Am I spending so much attention on molehills that my store of attention is depleted when I am faced with the mountains?

"In solitude we give passionate attention to our lives, to our memories, to the details around us." Virginia Woolf

How can I give "passionate attention" to my life? How can I invest my attention-currency wisely? What can I do to grow my attention account? Am I spending my attention-allowance as fast as I get it; like a kid in a candy store? I want to conserve my attention, saving it and spending it more purposefully on what is most meaningful.

"Genius is nothing but continued attention." Claude Adrien Helvetius

If I pay attention to one direction/thing does that bankrupt my ability to pay attention to others?

“Bad memory has its roots in bad attention.”

Is my attention a limited resource? Do I clutter my life with less-than-fruitful pursuits/thoughts/people to the point where I have no energy for more valuable focus? For example, if I spend a couple hours “surfing the net” it is quite difficult to pay attention to a good book. Maybe it is because I have spent my attention-currency somewhere else and my attention account is depleted. You could try it and see if you notice the same thing.

"Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention." Jim Rohn.

Who do you give "gift of attention?" I suspect we have each experienced what I would call “toxic people.” I want to spend my attention on people who are uplifting and who deposit wonderful encouragement, love and wisdom into my heart/mind account. I want to pay attention to relationships that are most meaningful. It is good to sort through the relationships in my life and notice which are to be nurtured and which are to be released. Sometimes even “good people” can divide the attention I pay to my husband, children, close friends, etc.

"One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it." Sidney Howard

What has your “undivided attention”? For years I’ve felt that I’m missing what’s most important in the mess of stuff that is okay or good. I know that I have items that are meaningful to me lost in all the other stuff. “The good is the enemy of the best.” I have lots of good stuff; but it is choking out the best. The more stuff I keep, the less I’m able to actually use. When I keep everything it can all come to mean less; if for no other reason than I simply cannot pay attention to all those things. I end up with NSF on my attention account. My attention is not only divided, it is fractured!

"The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all." Leo Rosten

"Past the seeker as he prayed came the crippled and the beggar and the beaten. And seeing them... he cried, "Great God, how is it that a loving creator can see such things and yet do nothing about them?" God said, "I did do something. I made you." Author Unknown

Do you believe that you are here for a reason? Do you believe that there is a purpose for your life? I believe that I am not here by accident. I believe that God has a purpose for me. I believe that Spirit has planted within me passionate focus. I can spend my attention on all kinds of “good” things; but they will deplete my resources and my ability to go after what I’m most passionate about. There will be so much going on and I will be spread so thin that I’ll not able to fully experience even what is okay or good, let alone the best.

“You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own. It’s just a matter of paying attention to this miracle.” Paulo Coelho

I choose a different way. I choose to look at my stuff – mental, emotional and physical – and discard what no longer works, what is from the past, what doesn’t feed my spirit. I choose to spend my attention on the purpose God has for me; I choose to spend my attention following the passion placed in my heart by Spirit.

I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back. Philippians 3:12-14 (The Message)

You Gotta Have Friends

Hello friends,

My friend Sherry just called; she gave me permission to share this story.
She's still going through the stuff she took from me; sorting and labeling it.

Sherry found a bracelet in the stuff and she put it on. When Sherry put on the bracelet on she was immediately aware of the weight of it on her wrist.

In the midst of dealing with my stuff she made a connection in her head about the weight of overwhelm that I live with and the weight of the bracelet on her wrist.

Sherry called to tell me that she is going to wear the bracelet to remind her to think of me and pray for me. Then, after O-Day, Sherry intends to take off the bracelet to symbolize that I am free of clutter.


Isn't that sweet?

On the flip side, Sherry says she'll never come to my house again.

Affirmations and Revelations

You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be.
~ David Viscott

Greetings dear readers,

What words do you speak to yourself?

I am speaking positive affirmations like crazy; more than any time in my life. I speak affirmations in this blog. I purposefully speak positive affirmations whether or not I “feel” or “think” them to be true. I speak them in my heart and in my head and out loud and on paper. I’m determined to set them in place in my heart specifically to help me through this organization process.

We cannot always control our thoughts, but we can control our words, and repetition impresses the subconscious, and we are then master of the situation.
~ Florence Scovel Shinn

Constant repetition carries conviction. ~ Robert Collier

How do you speak to yourself? What is your story? We all affirm ourselves millions of times a day. We reinforce our feelings and beliefs with a constant stream of thoughts and words. We can reinforce ourselves negatively, which, unfortunately seems to come more easily. And we can reinforce ourselves positively. This usually requires a more mindful choice.

Belief consists in accepting the affirmations of the soul; unbelief, in denying them. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

For me, positive affirmations are a way of displacing monkey brain thoughts and beliefs. Do you know what I mean when I say monkey brain? It is that constant disruptive chattering that can go on in the mind. A few evenings ago I had a bad case of monkey brain. I was visualizing the act of letting go of my stuff and suddenly anxiety washed over me. I’m talking about a strong, nearly phobic fear. The next morning while I was writing, this is what came out:

“It is time for me to release these things to others. It is time for me to let them go. Let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go I trust you God to help me let go. Settle my heart, help me to have a deep well of security. Security means it is okay to let go. Security means I can let go. I can let go of my stuff and not disappear.

Do I keep so much stuff and has my body gotten this large in an effort to be seen? Wow. I let go of my stuff, I let go of excess weight, I let go of emotional drama ---- and I am still visible.”

All my life I have taken up space, not just physically. I have a big personality, a big voice, big thoughts, big plans and big dreams. I’m the twelfth child of thirteen and I learned early that to be seen I needed to have a big presence. After that I think it just stuck.

And another thing…okay, I’ll admit it: I love drama. I love to tell a story. Gee, back to that center of attention thing. Yikes. The question is: What story do I tell myself about my life? What life story do I share with others? What part of my life story do I focus on? Am I focusing on the challenges of life because they provide more dramatic effect? Or, to be more truthful, am I focusing on those stories because I get more attention? Oh, me. God help me. Part of my inner organization process is to let go of old stories that keep me stuck.

By tossing out the old and unworkable, we make way for the new and suitable.
~ Julia Cameron

Telling our stories can bring healing; the telling helps us process our experience. Telling our stories can help and inspire others. Telling our stories can also keep us stuck in that storyline; we may cling to those stories because they are familiar and we know our role in the story; it's scary to let go because then I'm not sure who I am. When I let go of an old story I must redefine myself. Yes, sometimes it’s time to tell a new story.

Thank you for being here to witness my journey and to hear my story.

Always direct your thoughts to those truths that will give you confidence, hope, joy, love, thanksgiving, and turn away your mind from those that inspire you with fear, sadness, depression. ~ Bertrand Wilbertforce

Blessings,
Kelly

P.S. Remember the story about giving stuff to my friend Sherry? Well, to me that was evidence that the positive affirmations are working. Yay!

The more I let go the more freedom I gain. ~ Kelly Morrison

Kelly: Organization 911!: Sharing My Stuff

Kelly: Organization 911!: Sharing My Stuff

Sharing My Stuff

I have a confession. Yesterday I cheated.

No! I did not go shopping at Michaels!
No! I did not hide craft supplies in my attic! (Not that the temptation hasn’t reared its ugly head.)

My friend Sherry came by and I loaded her down --- yikes, what an expression! Let’s try that again, I gifted her with envelopes, paper, and other supplies that can be used by the teachers and students at her school. It felt good to let the supplies go, especially knowing that they would be put to a good use. Sherry actually seemed to have more anxiety on my behalf, saying, “Are you sure you’re okay with this? Are you sure I can have this?” I was actually energized by the process. I’m just sorry she didn’t take more!

Side note: Linda and Denise, don’t worry. There is still PLENTY of stuff left.

Sherry called me this morning. She has brought just one box into her house from the back of her car and she is already feeling overwhelmed. She shared with me that it has given her insight into how I must feel, how I’ve been feeling for years faced with my own clutter. She looked at all the stuff in the back of her car and thought, “What the heck do I do with this now?” It was all stuff she wanted; stuff she chose. And it is stuff that she took with a particular use in mind. And yet, she --- a “cleanie”, an accomplished organizer ---is overwhelmed by it.

I’m glad that Sherry called me this morning to tell me about her experience. It helps me to hear her perception and awareness. I guess I’m allowing myself to know that I’m not a bad person because I’m overwhelmed by all this stuff and can’t seem to get it together. It would be normal for anyone to be overwhelmed by this much stuff. I’m not a bad person because I chose this stuff, because I wanted this stuff, or because I collected this stuff. It is normal for people to want and get stuff. Many people have eyes bigger than their closets, rooms, homes, garages, storage units.

I think sometimes when we live with something; for example, a particular belief or behavior; we can become numb to the effects of that belief or behavior. Here is an example: I walk around every day carrying an additional 80 pounds of body fat. This is down from 100 pounds. I was amazed by how much of a difference it made to my ability to move and breathe to release just twenty pounds. I've been heavy for so long that I barely notice hauling an extra 80 pounds around. Yet if you gave me an 80-pound bag of flour to carry around I'd be fully aware of how it physically challenged me. Part of growing willing and ready to let go is being willing to be aware of what it is costing me to hold on.


Similarly, I may not fully realize what keeping all of this stuff is costing me until it is gone. When my space is free of the visual clutter; when my mind is clear of clinging to the past; only when I experience freedom will I be fully aware of my previous bondage. So, it is good when we can see our world through someone else’s eyes. In this case I am motivated by the promise of moving out of the land of overwhelm.


I know the experience of the gradual lightening of my load. I know that the more I release the more deeply motivated I become to gain greater freedom. The more freedom I have the more freedom I want.


I thanked Sherry for calling me and then I said one last thing,

“You can’t bring it back.”

Sometimes, I've just got to laugh!

Hi!

One thing that I have that will serve me well in this process is my sense of humor. At least I haven't lost that in my piles of stuff!

I've added video (on the left) to one of my favorite George Carlin bits, "A Place for My Stuff." It is both hilarious and appropriate to this process of de-cluttering. It especially rings true in that keeping some stuff leads to keeping more stuff, etc. etc. ad nausea.

A note of caution: Don't watch this video with children. George Carlin's humor may be considered by some to be raunchy or raw.

Laugh it up,
Kelly

The process of releasing...

Greetings!

To be chosen to receive this blessing is both exciting and humbling, in many ways, on many levels.

Over the years, friends and family have contributed time and energy to helping me dig out from my stuff. They can attest to the amount of stuff that I have. I would hazard a guess that they would also attest to the truth that I must let go of much more in order to be free.

Isn't that interesting? Even as I wrote that last line the truth of it impacted me. Just as I have physical clutter; I also have emotional and mental clutter that I am wading through, clutter that blocks my ability to move through life creatively and productively. There are more lives at stake than just mine. I fully intend to inspire and touch the lives of thousands of people during my life time. And right now, I'm starting with my own.

If a man would move the world, he must first move himself. ~Socrates

I'm fully committed to making this experience as successful as it can be. I very aware of the huge investment being made into my life by the professional organizers and all the other people involved. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. It is time for big change. I'm ready.

Sometimes the best helping hand you can get is a good, firm push. ~Joann Thomas

My contribution, my investment into myself and in the process, is to prepare myself as best as possible to willingly and fully release my hold on this stuff…and to break its hold on me.

In making preparations (mental and emotional) it came to my mind that I had bought some hypnosis CDs years ago. And I remembered that one of them had something to do with clutter. Well, knowing me, I was sure that I still had the CDs around. Duh, I save everything. I knew they were around here somewhere. How funny is that?!? I had to dig through my clutter to find my anti-clutter CD.

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." ~Dave Barry, "Things That It Took Me 50 Years to Learn"

But wait....it gets even better! The anti-clutter CD was part of a set entitled...are you ready for this? "Do it Now! The ACTION Plan to End Procrastination!"

Even I find this hilarious, though ruefully so. I obviously procrastinated listening to the procrastination CDs. Oh, Lord, help me!

God give me the strength to face a fact though it slay me. ~Thomas Huxley, The Great Quotations, George Seldes, p.344

And this proves, once again, that affirmations (and/or prayers, teachings, advice, coaching) are effective only when actually listened to, spoken and written; only when mindfully incorporated into daily life. The effectiveness is directly proportional to the action taken.

Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words;
Be careful of your words, for your words become your deeds;
Be careful of your deeds, for your deeds become your habits;
Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character;
Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny.
Author Unknown

This seems like a good time to share an application question and my answer.

Q: What do you consider your biggest challenge in becoming organized?
A: I am easily distracted and I find life fascinating. I’m very visual, the phrase “out of sight, out of mind” applies well to me. I feel that I need visual cues, but I end up having so much stuff lying around that it is defeating. I have a constant internal feeling that I’m missing something.

On the application the answer box had only so much room in it; plus, I needed to get the application submitted right away. So, I kept my answers very short. Since then, I’ve taken time to consider the question and my “gut level” answer.

For one thing, I have become convinced that I have too many “visual cues” rather than too few. I keep so much out because I’m afraid that I’ll forget it that I end up losing it in the piles of clutter. (Anything paper is especially challenging for me.)

It has been suggested that part of holding on to clutter is an inability to let go of the past. This rings true, at least on some level, for me.

Considering the internal message of “out of sight, out of mind” I have a degree of anxiety about losing people and experiences if I don’t have the stuff attached to those memories. I can release those items and still carry the person or the experience close in my heart and my mind. I am not throwing away the person or the experience when I let go of the items/stuff attached to that person/experience.

Many persons wonder why they don't amount to more than they do, have good stuff in them, energetic, persevering, and have ample opportunities. It is all a case of trimming the useless branches and throwing the whole force of power into the development of something that counts. ~Walter J. Johnston

When my energy is not being drained by the piles and boxes and rooms of stuff I will have energy available – mental, emotional and physical energy – to recognize, cultivate and celebrate what is truly important in relationships and experiences.

Plus, there are some past experiences and relationships that are just that: past. Releasing the stuff is a key for my freedom; it is necessary for me to get passed them andto move beyond them in order to fully experience now and to make room for what’s next.

There are times when forgetting can be just as important as remembering - and even more difficult. ~Harry and Joan Mier, Happiness Begins Before Breakfast

Thanks for sharing my journey.
Until next time, gentle readers,

Kelly

"Ah ha!" Moments: The Application

Hello gentle readers...and I do hope that you will be gentle on me as I share my journey with you.

Did you notice the countdown timer I added on the left? Woo-hoo! Count down along with me to O-Day!

Are you feeling inspired? If you check below the pics on the left, you'll find links to the websites of the organizers who are working with me. Are you outside the Seattle area? Go to www.napo.com to find a professional organizer in your area.

Are you curious to know more about the application questions? For me they opened up a deeper conversation between my heart and mind. I've decided to offer you the questions without my answers, in case you'd like to see what comes up for you. I'll share my personal answers in the next blog.

Would you like to see where the questions may lead you? Here they are for your consideration:
1. What do you consider your biggest challenge in becoming organized? (i.e.: managing time, motivation, prioritizing, ability to make decisions, etc.)
2. What room or area(s) of your home, if organized, would make the biggest difference in your life? The types of rooms that will be considered include: family/living room, play room, kitchen, dining room, and bed rooms.
3. What circumstances have contributed to your current situation?
4. How long has it been like this?
5. If you could change only ONE thing in this room or area, what would it be?
6. What kind of difference would organization in this area/these areas make?
7. Please tell us anything else that will help us better understand your need for organizational assistance.

When I began to answer these questions it was as though the contest aspect dropped completely out of focus. I connected with the questions and I wrote the first words that came to my mind/heart in that moment. Will it be the same for you? I don't know. Do you feel led to spend time pondering the questions? Go for it. Are you even interested in answering the questions? If not, that's okay. I'm just honored to have you along for the ride.

Do you want to know my answers to the questions? Tune in to the next post!

TTFN,
Kelly