Saturday, February 28, 2009

"Before" video

A friend's husband saw the photos (tiny) of my messy rooms and said, "That doesn't look so bad."

To dispel any question as to whether or not I need professional help (ha) here is a video of my cluttered spaces "before"....

Before organization Before organization

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Peek-A-Boo!

Now you see me, now you...see me

Isn’t it interesting that there can be so many facets to one experience?

Just a few days ago I wrote about the fear I have about needing all this stuff in order to be seen.

Lately I’ve become aware that I am hidden by all this stuff. Remember, I’m not only talking household clutter here, I’m talking about my inner clutter as well.

I heard an organizer on Oprah say, “The more you get rid of here, the more room you have over here.” This both thrilled and excited me!

I am excited because I am making room for something new. I may not even be fully aware of all that I am making room for; but I have a great sense of expectancy. I am cleaning out a junk room to create a nursery. The nursery is where I will nurture my spirit and soul through art; and where I will nurture my passion-driven business.

I have a new awareness that the more I get rid of, the more I am revealed. Wow. 180 degrees from where I was at a few days ago! The more I get rid of the more likely I am to be seen. Once the stuff is gone I am free to show up more fully; I show up more authentic, less guarded, and certainly less scattered.

Again, this is both thrilling and exciting. I want to show up authentically. I love to show up authentically! And I also feel anxious from time to time at the risk of being rejected. Those anxieties are just more boxes of junk to sort through and deal with once and for all. I have no illusions that the process will ever be complete. I’m okay with that; as long as I’m learning I’m not rotting.

The Oprah organizer also said, “Remove the clutter and honor and respect the things you truly love.” Oh how this is true of my heart and soul and mind! Living out this analogy makes application nearly impossible. That’s okay with me. I want to apply this to my life like slathering a nice thick layer of sticky peanut butter on a piece of bread. Have you ever tried to scrape peanut butter off bread? It is not easy. That’s how I want these revelations to stick to my life.

And, finally, another question that I am answering: “What do you want from this space?” What a wonder to consider this question with awareness and intention! When I was in labor with my kids I was encouraged to have a focus point to use during contractions. My dream of what I want for my office and art studio will be the focal point for me to get through the contractions of the organization process itself.

What about my soul, my spirit, my mind? What about my inner space? What do I want from this space? I want to show up fully and authentically. I want to make room for what is most precious and discard what does not contribute life to my life. I want to dream new dreams and give birth to inspiring books and art. I want to be an inspiration and encouragement to others. I want to nourish relationships that are mutually life-giving. I want to connect people to people and people to their dreams. These, then, are my focal point for these contractions of my inner organization process. This is where I focus the eyes of my heart.

How about you? What is the focus of the eyes of your heart?

Blessings,
Kelly

Time Keeps on Slipping Into the Future

Hello gentle readers,

Have you checked out the counter over there on the left?

It just hit me that it is just a little over a week before O-Days!!!!

Right now my heart is beating so fast and my brain is racing. I'm excited and nervous. I admit that I'm more than a little scared about the process.

My determination to be free is not wavering one bit.

I am keeping my eyes on the prize! I am hanging on and staying with the flow of the WHOLE process.

Today I sent a box full of educational games out the door. Yay me! My friend Kathy is taking them to the Special Ed teacher at her school. The teacher sounds so excited to receive them. This kind of purposeful giving brings joy to my process of releasing.

Holey-moley this is getting real, real, real! Will you please send lots of prayers and warm thoughts my way? I'm going to need them over the coming two weeks.

Thank you. It is nice to know that I'm not alone on this journey.

Big hugs,
Kelly

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Pay Attention

"Tell me to what you pay attention and I will tell you who you are."
Jose Ortega y Gasset


How often have you heard these words used together? “Pay attention.” “I was really paying attention.” “You better pay attention!” This led me to ask myself, “How am I spending my attention?”

Wow, attention as a commodity? I’ve often heard the exhortation that my time is valuable. This is the first time I’ve clearly considered my attention as a kind of currency. When I “pay attention” I’m exchanging my attention-currency for … what? What goods or services am I purchasing with my attention? How am I spending my attention?

"Only when your consciousness is totally focused on the moment you are in can you receive whatever gift, lesson or delight that moment has to offer." Barbara De Angelis

An aspect of this de-cluttering process just keeps knocking on the door of my heart and mind: the analogy between my home and my soul. Clutter is not only physical, like all the stuff I accumulate and save and hoard. Clutter is mental and emotional as well.

“Only one thing has to change for us to know happiness in our lives: where we focus our attention.” Greg Anderson

In my art studio (a.k.a. “The Crap Room”) it is not uncommon for me to have to step over and around piles and piles of stuff. I have actually tripped a few times and I thought, “Great. The paper will read ‘death by crap’.” I would go into the room just to find something specific and get out. Or, I would go into the room to dump something else. I would purposely “try not to look.” What a joke! How could I not look at it? It is everywhere! Nevertheless, I tried not to see it. I didn’t want to pay attention to it.

What piles and piles of stuff and junk and crap in my head and my heart am I picking my way through? What am I trying not to see? If I see this stuff then I am faced with the choice to do something about it or not. Am I avoiding paying attention because then I will have to take responsibility? Ouch.

"I don't care how much power, brilliance or energy you have, if you don't harness it and focus it on a specific target, and hold it there you're never going to accomplish as much as your ability warrants." Zig Ziglar

When I am in the organization process I will go through all my stuff and choose what to keep and what to let go. Part of the inner-organization process is the willingness to look at my inner stuff and decide what value, if any, it has for me; whether it is useful or not. Is it for me now or is it something from the past that I don’t need to hold onto?

“Big Brother isn’t watching. He’s singing and dancing. He’s pulling rabbits out of a hat. Big Brother’s busy holding your attention every moment you’re awake. He’s making sure you’re always distracted. He’s making sure you’re fully absorbed.” Chuck Palahniuk

How am I cluttering my mind? Where are my thoughts? What am I thinking about? What thoughts am I paying attention to? What thoughts am I spending my attention on? I am bombarded from all sides with messages and suggestions and information. Technology alone can feed so much into my mind that there is little room for anything else in there. And, let’s face it; my own head supplies a constant chatter of its own. Will I pay attention to the thought, “I’ll never change”? Or will I spend my attention on the thought, “I will be free”?

"Attitude is the way you mentally look at the world around you. It is how you view your environment and your future. It is the focus you develop toward life itself."

How am I cluttering my emotions? Am I spending attention on bitterness, resentment, anger, insecurity? If I pay attention to bitterness, what am I buying? What am I getting for my money? What would happen if I spend more attention on forgiveness than I do on holding a grudge? What would I receive in return for such a payment?

Am I spending so much attention on molehills that my store of attention is depleted when I am faced with the mountains?

"In solitude we give passionate attention to our lives, to our memories, to the details around us." Virginia Woolf

How can I give "passionate attention" to my life? How can I invest my attention-currency wisely? What can I do to grow my attention account? Am I spending my attention-allowance as fast as I get it; like a kid in a candy store? I want to conserve my attention, saving it and spending it more purposefully on what is most meaningful.

"Genius is nothing but continued attention." Claude Adrien Helvetius

If I pay attention to one direction/thing does that bankrupt my ability to pay attention to others?

“Bad memory has its roots in bad attention.”

Is my attention a limited resource? Do I clutter my life with less-than-fruitful pursuits/thoughts/people to the point where I have no energy for more valuable focus? For example, if I spend a couple hours “surfing the net” it is quite difficult to pay attention to a good book. Maybe it is because I have spent my attention-currency somewhere else and my attention account is depleted. You could try it and see if you notice the same thing.

"Give whatever you are doing and whoever you are with the gift of your attention." Jim Rohn.

Who do you give "gift of attention?" I suspect we have each experienced what I would call “toxic people.” I want to spend my attention on people who are uplifting and who deposit wonderful encouragement, love and wisdom into my heart/mind account. I want to pay attention to relationships that are most meaningful. It is good to sort through the relationships in my life and notice which are to be nurtured and which are to be released. Sometimes even “good people” can divide the attention I pay to my husband, children, close friends, etc.

"One half of knowing what you want is knowing what you must give up before you get it." Sidney Howard

What has your “undivided attention”? For years I’ve felt that I’m missing what’s most important in the mess of stuff that is okay or good. I know that I have items that are meaningful to me lost in all the other stuff. “The good is the enemy of the best.” I have lots of good stuff; but it is choking out the best. The more stuff I keep, the less I’m able to actually use. When I keep everything it can all come to mean less; if for no other reason than I simply cannot pay attention to all those things. I end up with NSF on my attention account. My attention is not only divided, it is fractured!

"The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make some difference that you have lived at all." Leo Rosten

"Past the seeker as he prayed came the crippled and the beggar and the beaten. And seeing them... he cried, "Great God, how is it that a loving creator can see such things and yet do nothing about them?" God said, "I did do something. I made you." Author Unknown

Do you believe that you are here for a reason? Do you believe that there is a purpose for your life? I believe that I am not here by accident. I believe that God has a purpose for me. I believe that Spirit has planted within me passionate focus. I can spend my attention on all kinds of “good” things; but they will deplete my resources and my ability to go after what I’m most passionate about. There will be so much going on and I will be spread so thin that I’ll not able to fully experience even what is okay or good, let alone the best.

“You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own. It’s just a matter of paying attention to this miracle.” Paulo Coelho

I choose a different way. I choose to look at my stuff – mental, emotional and physical – and discard what no longer works, what is from the past, what doesn’t feed my spirit. I choose to spend my attention on the purpose God has for me; I choose to spend my attention following the passion placed in my heart by Spirit.

I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back. Philippians 3:12-14 (The Message)












Friday, February 20, 2009

You Gotta Have Friends

Hello friends,

My friend Sherry just called; she gave me permission to share this story.
She's still going through the stuff she took from me; sorting and labeling it.

Sherry found a bracelet in the stuff and she put it on. When Sherry put on the bracelet on she was immediately aware of the weight of it on her wrist.

In the midst of dealing with my stuff she made a connection in her head about the weight of overwhelm that I live with and the weight of the bracelet on her wrist.

Sherry called to tell me that she is going to wear the bracelet to remind her to think of me and pray for me. Then, after O-Day, Sherry intends to take off the bracelet to symbolize that I am free of clutter.


Isn't that sweet?

On the flip side, Sherry says she'll never come to my house again.

Affirmations and Revelations

You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be.
~ David Viscott


Greetings dear readers,


What words do you speak to yourself?

I am speaking positive affirmations like crazy; more than any time in my life. I speak affirmations in this blog. I purposefully speak positive affirmations whether or not I “feel” or “think” them to be true. I speak them in my heart and in my head and out loud and on paper. I’m determined to set them in place in my heart specifically to help me through this organization process.

We cannot always control our thoughts, but we can control our words, and repetition impresses the subconscious, and we are then master of the situation.

~ Florence Scovel Shinn

Constant repetition carries conviction. ~ Robert Collier

How do you speak to yourself? What is your story? We all affirm ourselves millions of times a day. We reinforce our feelings and beliefs with a constant stream of thoughts and words. We can reinforce ourselves negatively, which, unfortunately seems to come more easily. And we can reinforce ourselves positively. This usually requires a more mindful choice.

Belief consists in accepting the affirmations of the soul; unbelief, in denying them. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

For me, positive affirmations are a way of displacing monkey brain thoughts and beliefs. Do you know what I mean when I say monkey brain? It is that constant disruptive chattering that can go on in the mind. A few evenings ago I had a bad case of monkey brain. I was visualizing the act of letting go of my stuff and suddenly anxiety washed over me. I’m talking about a strong, nearly phobic fear. The next morning while I was writing, this is what came out:

“It is time for me to release these things to others. It is time for me to let them go. Let it go let it go let it go let it go let it go I trust you God to help me let go. Settle my heart, help me to have a deep well of security. Security means it is okay to let go. Security means I can let go. I can let go of my stuff and not disappear.

Do I keep so much stuff and has my body gotten this large in an effort to be seen? Wow. I let go of my stuff, I let go of excess weight, I let go of emotional drama ---- and I am still visible.”

All my life I have taken up space, not just physically. I have a big personality, a big voice, big thoughts, big plans and big dreams. I’m the twelfth child of thirteen and I learned early that to be seen I needed to have a big presence. After that I think it just stuck.

And another thing…okay, I’ll admit it: I love drama. I love to tell a story. Gee, back to that center of attention thing. Yikes. The question is: What story do I tell myself about my life? What life story do I share with others? What part of my life story do I focus on? Am I focusing on the challenges of life because they provide more dramatic effect? Or, to be more truthful, am I focusing on those stories because I get more attention? Oh, me. God help me. Part of my inner organization process is to let go of old stories that keep me stuck.

By tossing out the old and unworkable, we make way for the new and suitable.

~ Julia Cameron

Telling our stories can bring healing; the telling helps us process our experience. Telling our stories can help and inspire others. Telling our stories can also keep us stuck in that storyline; we may cling to those stories because they are familiar and we know our role in the story; it's scary to let go because then I'm not sure who I am. When I let go of an old story I must redefine myself. Yes, sometimes it’s time to tell a new story.


Thank you for being here to witness my journey and to hear my story.

Always direct your thoughts to those truths that will give you confidence, hope, joy, love, thanksgiving, and turn away your mind from those that inspire you with fear, sadness, depression. ~ Bertrand Wilbertforce

Blessings,
Kelly

P.S. Remember the story about giving stuff to my friend Sherry? Well, to me that was evidence that the positive affirmations are working. Yay!


The more I let go the more freedom I gain. ~ Kelly Morrison




Thursday, February 19, 2009

Kelly: Organization 911!: Sharing My Stuff

Kelly: Organization 911!: Sharing My Stuff

Sharing My Stuff

I have a confession. Yesterday I cheated.

No! I did not go shopping at Michaels!
No! I did not hide craft supplies in my attic! (Not that the temptation hasn’t reared its ugly head.)

My friend Sherry came by and I loaded her down --- yikes, what an expression! Let’s try that again, I gifted her with envelopes, paper, and other supplies that can be used by the teachers and students at her school. It felt good to let the supplies go, especially knowing that they would be put to a good use. Sherry actually seemed to have more anxiety on my behalf, saying, “Are you sure you’re okay with this? Are you sure I can have this?” I was actually energized by the process. I’m just sorry she didn’t take more!

Side note: Linda and Denise, don’t worry. There is still PLENTY of stuff left.

Sherry called me this morning. She has brought just one box into her house from the back of her car and she is already feeling overwhelmed. She shared with me that it has given her insight into how I must feel, how I’ve been feeling for years faced with my own clutter. She looked at all the stuff in the back of her car and thought, “What the heck do I do with this now?” It was all stuff she wanted; stuff she chose. And it is stuff that she took with a particular use in mind. And yet, she --- a “cleanie”, an accomplished organizer ---is overwhelmed by it.

I’m glad that Sherry called me this morning to tell me about her experience. It helps me to hear her perception and awareness. I guess I’m allowing myself to know that I’m not a bad person because I’m overwhelmed by all this stuff and can’t seem to get it together. It would be normal for anyone to be overwhelmed by this much stuff. I’m not a bad person because I chose this stuff, because I wanted this stuff, or because I collected this stuff. It is normal for people to want and get stuff. Many people have eyes bigger than their closets, rooms, homes, garages, storage units.

I think sometimes when we live with something; for example, a particular belief or behavior; we can become numb to the effects of that belief or behavior. Here is an example: I walk around every day carrying an additional 80 pounds of body fat. This is down from 100 pounds. I was amazed by how much of a difference it made to my ability to move and breathe to release just twenty pounds. I've been heavy for so long that I barely notice hauling an extra 80 pounds around. Yet if you gave me an 80-pound bag of flour to carry around I'd be fully aware of how it physically challenged me. Part of growing willing and ready to let go is being willing to be aware of what it is costing me to hold on.



Similarly, I may not fully realize what keeping all of this stuff is costing me until it is gone. When my space is free of the visual clutter; when my mind is clear of clinging to the past; only when I experience freedom will I be fully aware of my previous bondage. So, it is good when we can see our world through someone else’s eyes. In this case I am motivated by the promise of moving out of the land of overwhelm.


I know the experience of the gradual lightening of my load. I know that the more I release the more deeply motivated I become to gain greater freedom. The more freedom I have the more freedom I want.


I thanked Sherry for calling me and then I said one last thing,

“You can’t bring it back.”

Monday, February 16, 2009

Sometimes, I've just got to laugh!

Hi!

One thing that I have that will serve me well in this process is my sense of humor. At least I haven't lost that in my piles of stuff!

I've added video (on the left) to one of my favorite George Carlin bits, "A Place for My Stuff." It is both hilarious and appropriate to this process of de-cluttering. It especially rings true in that keeping some stuff leads to keeping more stuff, etc. etc. ad nausea.

A note of caution: Don't watch this video with children. George Carlin's humor may be considered by some to be raunchy or raw.

Laugh it up,
Kelly

Sunday, February 15, 2009

The process of releasing...

Greetings!

To be chosen to receive this blessing is both exciting and humbling, in many ways, on many levels.

Over the years, friends and family have contributed time and energy to helping me dig out from my stuff. They can attest to the amount of stuff that I have. I would hazard a guess that they would also attest to the truth that I must let go of much more in order to be free.

Isn't that interesting? Even as I wrote that last line the truth of it impacted me. Just as I have physical clutter; I also have emotional and mental clutter that I am wading through, clutter that blocks my ability to move through life creatively and productively. There are more lives at stake than just mine. I fully intend to inspire and touch the lives of thousands of people during my life time. And right now, I'm starting with my own.


If a man would move the world, he must first move himself. ~Socrates

I'm fully committed to making this experience as successful as it can be. I very aware of the huge investment being made into my life by the professional organizers and all the other people involved. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. It is time for big change. I'm ready.

Sometimes the best helping hand you can get is a good, firm push. ~Joann Thomas

My contribution, my investment into myself and in the process, is to prepare myself as best as possible to willingly and fully release my hold on this stuff…and to break its hold on me.

In making preparations (mental and emotional) it came to my mind that I had bought some hypnosis CDs years ago. And I remembered that one of them had something to do with clutter. Well, knowing me, I was sure that I still had the CDs around. Duh, I save everything. I knew they were around here somewhere. How funny is that?!? I had to dig through my clutter to find my anti-clutter CD.

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." ~Dave Barry, "Things That It Took Me 50 Years to Learn"

But wait....it gets even better! The anti-clutter CD was part of a set entitled...are you ready for this? "Do it Now! The ACTION Plan to End Procrastination!"

Even I find this hilarious, though ruefully so. I obviously procrastinated listening to the procrastination CDs. Oh, Lord, help me!

God give me the strength to face a fact though it slay me. ~Thomas Huxley, The Great Quotations, George Seldes, p.344

And this proves, once again, that affirmations (and/or prayers, teachings, advice, coaching) are effective only when actually listened to, spoken and written; only when mindfully incorporated into daily life. The effectiveness is directly proportional to the action taken.

Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words;
Be careful of your words, for your words become your deeds;
Be careful of your deeds, for your deeds become your habits;
Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character;
Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny.
Author Unknown

This seems like a good time to share an application question and my answer.

Q: What do you consider your biggest challenge in becoming organized?
A: I am easily distracted and I find life fascinating. I’m very visual, the phrase “out of sight, out of mind” applies well to me. I feel that I need visual cues, but I end up having so much stuff lying around that it is defeating. I have a constant internal feeling that I’m missing something.

On the application the answer box had only so much room in it; plus, I needed to get the application submitted right away. So, I kept my answers very short. Since then, I’ve taken time to consider the question and my “gut level” answer.

For one thing, I have become convinced that I have too many “visual cues” rather than too few. I keep so much out because I’m afraid that I’ll forget it that I end up losing it in the piles of clutter. (Anything paper is especially challenging for me.)

It has been suggested that part of holding on to clutter is an inability to let go of the past. This rings true, at least on some level, for me.

Considering the internal message of “out of sight, out of mind” I have a degree of anxiety about losing people and experiences if I don’t have the stuff attached to those memories. I can release those items and still carry the person or the experience close in my heart and my mind. I am not throwing away the person or the experience when I let go of the items/stuff attached to that person/experience.

Many persons wonder why they don't amount to more than they do, have good stuff in them, energetic, persevering, and have ample opportunities. It is all a case of trimming the useless branches and throwing the whole force of power into the development of something that counts. ~Walter J. Johnston

When my energy is not being drained by the piles and boxes and rooms of stuff I will have energy available – mental, emotional and physical energy – to recognize, cultivate and celebrate what is truly important in relationships and experiences.

Plus, there are some past experiences and relationships that are just that: past. Releasing the stuff is a key for my freedom; it is necessary for me to get passed them andto move beyond them in order to fully experience now and to make room for what’s next.

There are times when forgetting can be just as important as remembering - and even more difficult. ~Harry and Joan Mier, Happiness Begins Before Breakfast

Thanks for sharing my journey.

Until next time, gentle readers,

Kelly



Thursday, February 12, 2009

"Ah ha!" Moments: The Application

Hello gentle readers...and I do hope that you will be gentle on me as I share my journey with you.

Did you notice the countdown timer I added on the left? Woo-hoo! Count down along with me to O-Day!

Are you feeling inspired? If you check below the pics on the left, you'll find links to the websites of the organizers who are working with me. Are you outside the Seattle area? Go to www.napo.com to find a professional organizer in your area.

Are you curious to know more about the application questions? For me they opened up a deeper conversation between my heart and mind. I've decided to offer you the questions without my answers, in case you'd like to see what comes up for you. I'll share my personal answers in the next blog.

Would you like to see where the questions may lead you? Here they are for your consideration:
1. What do you consider your biggest challenge in becoming organized? (i.e.: managing time, motivation, prioritizing, ability to make decisions, etc.)
2. What room or area(s) of your home, if organized, would make the biggest difference in your life? The types of rooms that will be considered include: family/living room, play room, kitchen, dining room, and bed rooms.
3. What circumstances have contributed to your current situation?
4. How long has it been like this?
5. If you could change only ONE thing in this room or area, what would it be?
6. What kind of difference would organization in this area/these areas make?
7. Please tell us anything else that will help us better understand your need for organizational assistance.

When I began to answer these questions it was as though the contest aspect dropped completely out of focus. I connected with the questions and I wrote the first words that came to my mind/heart in that moment. Will it be the same for you? I don't know. Do you feel led to spend time pondering the questions? Go for it. Are you even interested in answering the questions? If not, that's okay. I'm just honored to have you along for the ride.

Do you want to know my answers to the questions? Tune in to the next post!

TTFN,
Kelly

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Wow. I'm in shock.

Be careful what you ask for....



"Ask and you shall receive."



...you might just get what you ask for!





I'm tossed between conflicting emotions. On one side: Elation, excitement, joy, gratitude, thrilled to my toes and fully on board. On the other side: Shocked, nervous and not quite sure what I've gotten myself into.



Inside I keep hearing, "If you want big change, take big action." Well, this is sure some big action!



Organization 9-1-1 is an event sponsored by the Seattle chapter of the National Alliance of Professional Organizers. I met Linda Deppa at a networking event and immediately knew I wanted to hire her to organize my office. She is so encouraging and passionate about what she does. I love to watch her brain work. She has this great balance of compassion and firmness. What I do as a life coach, Linda does as a professional organizer. She's an organization coach!



Linda and I had actually set an appointment to work on my office. I mailed her pictures of my office. She contacted me by phone and told me about this event. I was in a rush and went to the website and printed the application. Then I was off about my day. I didn't look at the application until the following day. That's when I discovered that I had 24 hours to submit my application.



I sort of wonder if this worked in my favor. Instead of pondering over the application and honing every word I answered the questions quickly, from my gut. The questions on the application are so wonderful and I had a great process just hearing the answers of my heart. I gained deeper understanding about some of what has blocked me in the area of clutter.



For example, one question asked, "What circumstances have contributed to your current situation?" My answer: I keep too much and then I get overwhelmed by all the stuff. I keep shuffling the overflow from room to room. When it is out of hand, I feel like a failure and then I just close the door on it. I’m creative and I see potential usefulness or art or fun in so many things. It is hard for me to let go because to let go would mean that potential (what could have been) is lost.



Wow. Where did that come from?!? The truth of this was less like a light bulb moment and more like a punch in the gut.



Perhaps I'll share more about my process with the application later....



The next step was a home visit from Linda Deppa and Denise Allen. Denise is the Special Projects Coordinator for Seattle NAPO.



I have to tell you that I went through a roller coaster ride of emotions surrounding that home visit. Even before Linda and Denise arrived I began to see my home through their eyes. A layer of dust that I hadn't noticed moments before now seemed glaringly obvious.



My kitchen table is covered with stuff...and if I were to "clean it off" because "people are coming" it wouldn't do me any good because I'd just shuffle all the stuff into one of the two rooms they were coming to look at! Oh me.



I had a sudden rush of anxiety. What if I expose myself and I'm rejected? What if I allow myself to be vulnerable and I'm judged? What am I doing?!? I'm going to let these professional women, women I network with professionally, see my private mess. I felt a rush of shame and I wished I could escape somehow.



I am quite sure that I'll experience all these emotions and more during this process. I'm observant of my emotions, I express them as part of my experience.



Back to the home visit: Linda and Denise walked through the two rooms. Denise is so compassionate to my process. Together she and Linda began to weave a creative vision for my office and my art studio. Meanwhile, Denise is earnestly trying to prepare me --- as much as she can --- for the reality of the process.



The process:

Six professional organizers for six hours a day for three days.

A banner across the front of my house and a yard sign out front. (Sure hope my neighbors love me.)

A garbage truck in front of my house. (Sure hope they really love me.)

Donations from Rubbermaid and Storables.

Oh, and did I mention a news crew from KING 5? (Wayyy coool!!!///Horrors!!!)

Press releases to print news including Voice of the Valley.



Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

I'm gonna get free! This is my year of freedom! No more bondage!



Kelly

(Oh, yeah. This means I've got to get rid of a bunch of stuff. From here on out I'll refer to it as "releasing anything that blocks my creativity/freedom". It's time to let go in a big way! Please God, help me.)